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Only The Breast: One Woman’s Journey Selling Her Breastmilk

pumping image

Money Money Money Moooonayyyy

Clogged Ducts Are No Fun

A bit of background info on my breastmilk situation. After the birth of my four children (yes four), I often had clogged ducts and mastitis. NO BUENO. To treat this ongoing issue, I tried common tricks and frequent pumping to get rid of painful clogs. Unfortunately, this just created an oversupply of milk. To avoid more clogs I’d keep pumping, triggering my boobs into thinking they needed to produce more. Additionally, my last born has a truly shitty latch, so I compensate by pumping EVEN more, causing a huge oversupply of liquid gold titty milk!

I figured why not donate some of my breastmilk. The first stop was milk banks where I was eager to donate to babies in need. Unfortunately, my health history and current medication restricted me from donating. Don’t worry, my doctor and pediatrician are aware of the meds and not worried that it will affect my daughter!

Breastmilk For Sale

I figured people are into some weird shit, which led me on the hunt for men looking to purchase breastmilk. Why not try and make a buck off of these boobs!? Boy oh boy was I in for a surprise. I found and put out an ad willing to sell to men.

Sharing Breastmilk Requests from Only The Breast.

The first response seemed legit. Edward said he was a local man with lupus looking to purchase some milk. I replied thinking ok this seems cool, helping a sick guy, what’s the harm?

WRONG!! After messaging back and forth a couple times there it was, “Will you nurse me? I promise it’s not a weird fetish, simply I just want it as pure as possible.”

Sharing Breastmilk Requests from Only The Breast.

Watch Out Modern Science


On to the next! I received a message from a man claiming he was a newly single father of a 5 week old from Baltimore, and interested in milk AND childcare. Hello, my name on the site was literally mom of 4! What makes you think I want a 5th? While the financial compensation for the milk alone seemed totally worth it, I’m not willing to babysit another kid PLUS feed another newborn. I’m already trying to feed my own!

What The Hell is Freezer Fresh Milk?

There have been a few requests for a few hundred ounces from my freezer stash of “fresh” breastmilk. Now…what is frozen and fresh? I chalked those emails up to scams or not the brightest men that I didn’t feel like educating. A popular request is to take pictures or videos of me pumping or hand expressing. I honestly feel like I am going to end up on some fetish website so I outright decline those requests.

Do You Even Breastmilk Bro?

The weirdest or strictest request has to be from a “health conscious CrossFitter”. He would only purchase my milk if I videotaped myself pumping to ensure it was “coming straight from the tap” with my face in the video. Additionally, he wanted a videotape of the entire process, including packaging it up and mailing it.

Sharing Breastmilk Requests from Only The Breast

He has to be honest…

Tandem Nursing Is Romantic

My favorite response is definitely the couples! The best of those emails is below, but here is the gist. A male flight attendant and his wife want to be nursed together. I’m not willing to tandem nurse my girls, so I’m certainly not hosting two grown adults on my boobs. Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Tandem would pay for some add-ons like a scalp massage because what the hell am I supposed to do with my hands? Maybe I could get in on some of my personal weird fetishes and pop some blackheads while they nursed? Oh and they are Covid vaccinated!

I Only Sell My Breastmilk To Fully Vaccinated People So Thanks…

Author: Author: Emily Martins is mom to 4 beautiful children and Market Director for Cool Moms of Howard County and Laurel. Visit our Chapter Directory for a Cool Moms near you!



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