It’s the most anxious time of the year! Thanksgiving as an adult is not fun. Period. The check lists, the coordination, the passive aggressive comments from your mother-in-law regarding the proper placement of marshmallows on sweet potato casserole, and your parents reminding you about that time you colored on the walls when you were five and how mad they were.
Then they laugh…then you laugh…then you continue to chase your toddler. The toddler that your relatives said they would watch while you cooked but they meant ‘from a distance.’
Now this is a little dramatic of course. I still friggin’ LOVE Thanksgiving; the stuffing, the pie, the pie, and the pie. I have complied a list of Thanksgiving essentials to assist you on your journey of getting past the stress and onto being passed the pie. It’s a silly pun, but it had to be made.
The ‘original.’ Chuckle. If you are anything like me, it takes two hands to order Thanksgiving dinner from Wegmans. Let THE ORGINIAL WineRack Booze Bra Flask help free up some hand space! Cook your dinner and keep that 12pm buzz flowing until the last of your relatives leaves your God-dammed house.
I love watching kids at any holiday. Their joy and excitement are as infectious as their saliva covered hands; however, it can be challenging basting a turkey while your two-year-old is trying to stuff their baby doll into the oven (a whole other blog post.) Why not keep your cuties busy with a Thanksgiving activity that is fun for everyone in the family?
“Thomas is a turkey, and he has lost all his feathers-gasp! In this book, readers will retrace Thomas’s steps around the house, picking up a feather at each location until they have helped Thomas find all seven of his brightly colored feathers.”
This sounds like it’s time consuming. GOOD.
“I’m so sorry! I can’t hear you ask me a question about chemtrails over my GIANT headphones!” I have this pair and I prefer these over my AirPods. These babies are cheap, stylish (sometimes I need a quickie headband), and really cut-out that political background chatter.
Or say f’ it, start a family fight and leave to take an edible in the bathroom. I LOVE this game! Vote for your family on inappropriate questions. Find out what your siblings really think of you and get to know your relatives better (or worse.)
Some of the questions are sexual in nature, so unless you want to know why everyone but you thinks your mom is most likely to show her boobs at Mardi Gras I would remove those cards first.
I feel this turkey on a spiritual level. Rock this turkey shirt and make your whole family chuckle. Honestly, $23 is about what I’d spend to make at least 12 people smile once.
Well mamas, good luck out there in these mashed potato skreets! I hope you have the best Thanksgiving!
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