Signs of an Eating Disorder: What Parents and Adults Need to Know

As parents, it can be hard to know what is really behind a teen’s sudden desire to lose weight, a new fixation on “healthy” eating, or an increased preoccupation with food. The same confusion often shows up for adults who are struggling themselves and wondering whether what they are experiencing could be an eating disorder.

Over the years, I have spoken with many parents who later realized that the warning signs were there long before they understood what was happening. I have also worked with adults who look back and recognize that their eating disorder began quietly, often disguised as ‘discipline,’ ‘wellness,’ or ‘self-improvement.’

There is no guidebook for identifying whether someone is struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, ARFID, or OSFED. Eating disorders tend to thrive on secrecy and isolation. Many teens and adults alike do not initially realize that they are slipping into a serious and potentially life-threatening mental illness.

Below are several common warning signs that may indicate an eating disorder. These signs can apply to teenagers, adults, or anyone you care about. It’s important to note that eating disorders can manifest differently; however, these are some common signs that we see in clinical practice.

Eating rituals or rigid eating behaviors

One of the earliest red flags can be the development of eating rituals or rigid food rules. These may include cutting food into very small pieces, arranging food in a specific way, or eating foods in a strict order.

In adults, this might look like needing meals to be prepared “just right,” avoiding spontaneous eating, or feeling significant anxiety when ‘breaking’ a food rule. While rituals alone do not automatically mean an eating disorder is present, they become concerning when paired with fear, rigidity, or distress around food.

Unusual use of condiments, diet soda and spices.

Another possible warning sign is the excessive or unusual use of condiments, spices, or beverages. This could include loading food with mustard, salt, hot sauce, or spices in a way that feels out of proportion, or using condiments to make very small amounts of food feel more filling.

For both teens and adults, another red flag is relying heavily on beverages such as diet soda, coffee, energy drinks, or flavored waters to suppress hunger. These behaviors are often framed as harmless habits, but they can signal attempts to override natural hunger cues.

If binge eating is also present, these behaviors may alternate with episodes of loss of control around food. 

Preoccupation with weight, body size, or food rules

A noticeable increase in thoughts about weight, body size, calories, or food quality is another common sign. This may sound like an intense fear of weight gain, frequent body checking, or constant comparison to others.

You might also notice dramatic and rigid changes in eating habits. This can include suddenly cutting out entire food groups, declaring new dietary identities without a clear ethical or medical reason, or labeling foods as “good,” or “bad.”

Other warning signs include sticking to only a few foods, claiming to dislike foods that were once enjoyed, becoming fixated on fat or sugar content, hoarding food, cooking elaborate meals for others but not eating them, or frequently going to the bathroom immediately after meals. Missing food or unexplained food packaging can also be important clues.

It’s important to note that someone’s body size does not tell you whether someone is seriously struggling. Eating disorders affect people of all body sizes, ages, genders, and backgrounds. 

Withdrawal from relationships and activities

When an eating disorder takes hold, it often begins to crowd out other parts of life. Teens may pull away from friends or family, while adults may slowly disengage from social plans, hobbies, or relationships they once enjoyed.

Instead, time and energy may become consumed by researching food, planning meals, exercising, or scrolling content related to dieting and body transformation. 

For many people, the eating disorder starts to function like a primary relationship, offering a (false!) sense of control or comfort while increasing isolation.

Compulsive or rigid exercise patterns

Another often overlooked warning sign is compulsive exercise. This does not always look like obvious overexercising or spending hours at the gym. 

For teens, it may show up as an inability to rest, intense distress when a workout is missed, or exercising to “make up for” eating. For adults, this can look like feeling driven to move despite injury, illness, exhaustion, or competing responsibilities. Exercise may shift from something enjoyable or flexible into something that feels mandatory, anxiety-driven, or tied to earning food or managing guilt. 

Even when exercise is framed as “healthy,” it becomes concerning when rest feels intolerable, flexibility disappears, or movement is used primarily to control weight, shape, or emotions. Compulsive exercise is a common feature of many eating disorders and can significantly increase medical risk, particularly when paired with restriction or purging behaviors.

The Bottom Line on Eating Disorders

If you notice several of these signs in your child or in yourself, it is important to take them seriously and seek an evaluation. Eating disorders have one of the highest mortality rates of any mental illness, and early, evidence based treatment can be lifesaving.

It is also important to approach these conversations with compassion rather than judgment. Eating disorders are not choices or phases. They are complex mental illnesses, and recovery is possible.

If you are a parent, it is natural to feel guilt or self blame for not noticing sooner. It’s important to note that eating disorder behaviors often occur in secret and even if they don’t-without eating disorder education it is unfair to blame yourself for not noticing the signs. Even with education, the signs are sometimes missed. It is not your fault that you did not notice that your child was struggling sooner. Showing curiosity, care, and willingness to get help can make a meaningful difference.

If you are a parent of a child who you think might be struggling or an adult reading this and recognizing yourself, know that full recovery is possible.

Author: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  is an award-winning eating disorder therapist and the founder of The Eating Disorder Center, a specialized therapy practice for eating disorders and body image concerns. She is the recipient of the Best of Bethesda Award for Best Individual Therapist (2025) and the Best of Rockville Award (2020–2024). She helps clients to live full, meaningful lives, beyond food and body image concerns.