How Old Were You When You First Felt Unsafe or Sexualized by a Man?

A few weeks ago, Danee Reth, Market Director of Sixx Cool Moms of Tampa Bay, asked a powerful question in her group, "How Old Were You When You First Felt Unsafe or Sexualized by a Man?"

The responses were so shocking that we decided to share them across our network to get a full picture of what the modern mom has experienced in her lifetime.

Here are the statistics from across the Sixx Cool Moms network:

Statistic	Value
Total valid responses	278
Youngest age reported	3
Oldest age reported	19
Most common age	8
Average (mean) age	9.11 years old
Median age	9
Standard deviation	3.38

The average girl in this dataset first felt unsafe or sexualized at just 9 years old. That’s a third or fourth grader. Still learning multiplication tables. Still losing baby teeth.

And it was often not a one-time thing; it was the beginning of a pattern.

Trends & Patterns We Observed

• The majority occurred before puberty: 75% of first-time experiences happened at 12 or younger.

  
  

• Perpetrators were often known: Neighbors, family friends, uncles, teachers, clergy, babysitters.

  
  

• Multiple experiences per person: Many women reported being targeted at multiple stages, 5, then again at 9, then again at 13, and so on.

  
  

• Many were not believed: A heartbreaking number were ignored, mocked, or told “they must have misunderstood.”

  
  

• These experiences shaped their lives: They changed how women parent, whom they trust, how they dress, and how they walk through the world.

  
  

What They Said

Some of the stories were brief, like:

“I had chicken pox, and one of my dad's friends pulled up my shirt to look down at them. I was 8 or 9.”

“A neighbor exposed himself to us. I was 4. There were five little girls with me.”

“A man at a restaurant slipped me his number. I was 12. I was with my family.”

“In order: 6, 8, 12, 14, 19. Different men. Different situations. Equally terrifying.”

“Preschool age. That’s when it started. And it’s why I never let my kids sleep over anywhere.”

“I was catcalled on the boardwalk when I was 10.”

“My brain blocked it out until my 20s. I remembered being 4. Then I was raped again in my mid-20s.”

Others shared traumatic timelines that stretched from early childhood into adulthood:

"I was first molested at 4, and it happened nearly every day until I was about 7. I never knew the difference between what was appropriate and what wasn’t. I spoke up about it at age 12/13 and was told by my parents that they thought I was lying. So, now that I’m an adult, several of my adult cousins and siblings unfortunately had the same experience."

"I was 10. By an older cousin. I didn’t even know what happened, and didn’t know how to feel. I have never talked about it, and even right now, typing it out is making my hands shake."

What This Tells Us

This is not a fluke. This is not anecdotal. This is not rare.

This is a pattern. This is a pipeline. And it starts early.

The women in these threads, all of them mothers now, are not just survivors. They are witnesses to a cultural pattern that has gone unchecked for generations.

Why This Blog Matters

Because these are the stories people don’t want to hear.Because this is what “normal” looks like for too many girls.Because the average is 9 years old. And we should all be asking:

Why is that normal? And why is it still happening?

So...How Old Were You When You First Felt Unsafe or Sexualized by a Man?

Want to take part in the conversation? Share your story in the comments. Your voice matters, and your story might be the one that helps another woman feel seen, validated, and less alone.

We are listening. We believe you. And we’re not staying quiet anymore.

Author: Jenna Levine Liu, Founder and President of Sixx Cool Moms. You can follow Jenna on Facebook, Instagram, and begrudgingly TikTok